Growing up, we’ve always had pets in our family, dogs, rabbits, guinea pigs, tortoises, and parrots but it’s such a vastly different experience compared to having a pet on your own, it’s teaching me a lot and helping me grow as a person.
When I was younger and to some extent to this day I had a crippling fear of birds, this was caused due to family pets. Dreaded were times when my dad would open the cage to take our African grey parrot: “Misty” out to roam free. On the occasions I didn’t leave the room quickly enough I would sit and have a minor panic attack crippled and stuck to the couch afraid of the bird.
Now, birds are smart and they’re also very territorial, Misty could see that I was afraid, so it wasn’t a rare occurrence where I would be attacked by her, swooping in at me from her perch attempting to bite my face sometimes succeeding. It’s hard for me to explain the level of fear I felt in these moments, it all happens so quickly the intense flapping, the violent terrifying screeches made by the bird, as quickly as it started it would be over and my dad would remove the bird and tell me to leave.
It’s strange feeling like a prisoner at times in your own home, coming downstairs to see a closed living room door would usually mean I couldn’t go anywhere for fear of being attacked. 15 years have gone since then, the devil bird has sadly passed away but very kindly left me with a fear of birds.
So, I got myself a bird.
Why did I decide to get a bird as a pet when I'm terrified of birds? It’s hard to say really, it wasn’t an impulse decision, I sat on the fence thinking about this for months but ultimately, I just wanted a small friend who I could bond with and look after, I couldn’t get a dog or a cat or any of the usual suspect pets due to insurance and where I live. I thought about getting a frog for a long time, specifically a Whites Tree Frog (have you seen these little guys? They’re so chubby and cute) they’re very complicated to get a hold of you can't just go into a shop here and ask for a frog it would have to be through sketchy breeders or 2nd hand adoption sites. Eventually, I remembered from growing up that birds can be very affectionate when tamed and I thought that this would help me grow as a person and learn too not be irrationally afraid.
Her name is Mochi, a teeny tiny little baby budgie and she’s very cheeky.
She stuck out right away to me, the only white budgie in the shop and when she lifted her wings she reveals her bright blue back feathers, absolutely gorgeous, I couldn’t pick any other bird at this point I was captivated.
My family helped me get her home and setup the cage, after they left it felt awkward for a while, nobody tells you when you’re alone with a new pet for the first time you have to suck it up and not feel awkward randomly talking to it.
I’ve had her here for a few weeks now and (I think) we’re getting on great I was shaky to begin with putting my hands into the cage and trying to be around her, but I pushed myself to do it I will be friends with this bird no matter what. She’s had a nibble at my fingers during taming sessions so I know I can trust her not to bite a hole in my hand.
I feel a massive weight has been lifted from my chest and I don't feel scared anymore of birds in general, if you were to put me in a room alone with an African grey though I very much doubt I’d be saying the same, I’d be out of there leaving a cloud outline in my wake like looney tunes, but it’s a start at least.
She’s been sitting there staring at me curious while I’ve been writing this, that or she can see the millet I have next to me and wants a treat, I think it’s easy to forget that our pets want to be friends with us as much as we want to be friends with them.
She’s starting to trust me, I think she was more afraid of me than I was of her to begin with, it’s an amazing feeling and experience to have any animal grow to trust you, she used to just run from me but slowly she’s been getting more comfortable with me, that or she just associates me with scran and sees me as the big thing that brings her the tasty food, but I like to think otherwise. It’s been a huge life lesson for me, I wouldn’t be here feeling great about this if I didn’t take steps outside of my comfort zone to make a change, I just wish I decided sooner and didn’t fence sit indecisively for months, if anxiety is holding you back I think if you can give yourself a push it’s always better to just go for it.
- Stephen